We never plan BIG parties, BIG celebrations, BIG wedding… nothing showy. I only wanted a wedding in the garden by the beach/pool. Serving finger food buffet brunch with live band instruments playing in the background. A simple wedding gown b-a-r-e-f-o-o-t-e-d.

Instead, I ended up in a typical chinese style dinner banquet. No way to escape. Substantially, it’s actually… due to the fact that both my pastors can’t make it in the morning or afternoon. I tried negotiating other dates with them, they still can’t make it too. I even tried the back door. His wife. LoL…

I remember, for no apparent reason, I printed out all the loops of my email correspondence I’ve had with the hotel management for my wedding to be held in the garden by the pool-cum-beachside buffet lunch, stare at it for a moment before I threw it all away. For your kind info, I do not suffer any mental disorder ya, only slight constipation at that time. LoL.

So far, I’ve never attended any wedding held in the garden. Who would want to go barefooted in their wedding? Me! Which is why you never see my wedding/evening gown any BIGGER than others coz I’ve been hoping so much for a barefooted wedding by the beach in the day time. Brief and simple. The make-up they did on me, can I comment?

My wedding date was hardly 2 months away when we decided to tie the knot. The date was believed to be an auspicious day specially picked by my mom-in-law. It’s her blessings for us though I did feel a bit uncomfortable (the opposite of ‘abit’ is ‘enormous’) with the short notice fearing all the unwanted consequences… i.e. wedding photographer’s team treating you like trash and kept eying at your tummy all the time… and giving relatives the impression that I was knocked up (pregnant) before wedding, besides it’s all too rush for me to plan anything.

Love your EXPRESS wedding photos or not, you have to swallow it. It’s just RM1,200 afterall. They can squeeze a brief slot for you in their 6months ahead fully booked schedule and get it out in time. The outcome? Thank goodness I was on empty stomach when we went to collect our album. I wanted a redo but I was told not to coz his parents said their son look like a Hong Kong superstar. There goes my only next hope… the wedding photos.

Then on top of the 2 months manic rush, the company that I worked for went into a chaotic state, all the staff including me are required to work till 9pm-10pm everyday with no exceptions.

Not much help was being offered from siblings, being handicapped, my wedding did turn out pretty chaotic, LOL. My mom almost blacked out wondering why a big group of relatives didn’t make it to the last minute. There’s a hidden hiccups here though, reason being, pure omission error? I’d rather remain it a secret. Remember, everything was a rush. My mom’s business peak period has always been August – January every year. We were really bare handed with no help. Nah… I didn’t cry. I only farted. ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing).

So desperate to postpone the date till next year… Nevertheless, we are much obliged to the elders. Ya, I’m still living in the chinese empress era. The date is set. It’s their blessings. Though I did sort of traded my dream wedding away being squeezed in between two contrasting wishes of the elders… either “wedding exclusively for direct relatives with RM600++ per table with allocated seats arrangement” OR “book Che Hoon Khor Moral Uplifting Society Penang and invite as many as possible without having to arrange for a thing called, allocated seats“.

Obviously one of them have to give way. Before the wedding, one was pulling her face for not being able to invite all her business close buddies and gang. Another pulled the face after the wedding coz the seats were not fully allocated. In the end, Sarah has to go to her facial beauty salon to get her face pulled tighter after being caught in between so much tug-of-war. Was it not my wedding?? Why do I fail to explode then?

One thing though, I should have put up an eye catching sign with the arrow pointing at our standing wedding photo by the ballroom entrance… “Attention All Aunties and Uncles, Don’t be Too Happy Just Yet. She’s NOT Pregnant. >>>” LoL.

To all the beautiful loving wedded couples with babies, it’s truly a great blessing considering not everybody can conceive so easily. Totally nothing wrong with it. Just that my mom has a thing against it and she’ll lift up a broom chasing after me if it happens to me. Come to think of it, she’ll probably use the portable vacuum cleaner hose! She can be that scary at times.

Relatives probably concluded that I get my dream wedding and… bla bla bla. Unfortunately, my dream never came true but at least I am wedded to a family guy (or is he?) , all I ever wanted.

A barefooted wedding or not, my wedding photo hanging up high in my inlaw/grandparent’s house or not (sssh… there was not even a proper photo taken of every tribe, an intended purported wedding or an unintended wedding? Sherlock Holmes dismissed my case as a case too vague due to a string of too much farting event involved… ROFL), most importantly, my marriage lasts a lifetime. Goosebumps! Lol…

Hey, I’m sure we’ve heard enough tales about friends getting divorced and 9 out of 10 cases is always about third party! That’s the real goosebumps. The Happy Family Marathon baton is really in the hands of our hubby.

Hope you’ll benefit from all the implied things-to-note of a complete wedding and May The Lord God BLESS your marriage to last a lifetime as I hope He’ll bless mine too.

Lesson Learned: Don’t get married?? LOL…